Moving Around. Not Great.

By Cyan Gupta

Hi. I am Cyan, like the color, not the pepper. I have just turned 17.

I am sitting here in my room in Tucson, Arizona. This is a relatively new thing, and I’m still trying to develop meaning from it. As of now, I will just quote a now famous rock lyric from a popular tune – “What a Long Strange Trip it’s been.” That, unfortunately, reminds me of my circumstances.

I do not know how unique a story this will be to you. I just know that none of the people I know have a similar ‘traveling gypsy’ (or otherwise ‘nomadic’ story) like mine, so please forgive me if this is ‘run-of-the-mill’.

Ever since I started explaining the cube root of 125 to random strangers as a toddler, I’ve been the math genius people turn to for answers. This phenomenon has not been lost on me. By the time I was five, my mom had me solving cube roots and cracking logarithms, way before I even knew what those words meant—or could spell them! In doing so, I was able to pass an examination allowing me entrance to NEST+M, an exceptional public school for NYC’s K-12 youth who perform well on visual-spatial tests. So, from my very early years I began to see how magical and powerful numbers were. At 8 years old, not only was I able to solve a Rubik’s cube inside of a NY minute, but I also scored the success of my mom’s ‘proud son’ look.

Thanks to my number-crunching prowess, I pretty much lived at the top of the class—my reputation did the math for me! In math teams, and at a variety of math competitions I participated in, I often went from being unknown, to, well – still unknown, but toward the front of the class of the other unknowns. Therefore, I cannot tell you a ‘rags to riches’ story from my experiences so far. My obstacles, however, have taken certain tolls on my life and journey, and I would like to share them with you.

Since my early memories, my mom and I have almost constantly been on the move. I recall several such moves within New York City. My mom says they were all out of necessity although I suspect it was for cheaper rent. Moving to one new neighborhood to be closer to her work, another to be closer to after-school class, yet another to be closer to public school. Add a couple more moves for good measure – a shorter flight of stairs… a larger bathroom..., etc., etc., and you have practically a travelling circus. Okay, I do get it. There were some good reasons to be on the go. But painfully, each move disrupted me from the familiar comforts of home; detaching me from neighborhood friends and familiar faces. Each move seemed like a whole new world of the unfamiliar. Maybe it’s especially true in New York, but each new neighborhood was a different part of the melting pot. I found myself grateful for the ‘new’ corner deli, if only because it reminded me of my ‘old’ corner deli. It was these corner store staples that became familiar to me. The rest of the neighborhoods often had much less in common with one another. New neighbors, new stores, new attitudes, new characters. New York, New York.

So please, let’s fast-forward several years. The not-so-great COVID-19 pandemic hit.

I had placed in a highly ranked K-12 school (NEST+M) and was playing team mascot for the school’s mathematics team. I loved it, and I was soaring! A team in a highly competitive tri-state league for math nerds travelling to distant lands in a flat out attempt to out-impress congregated audiences (solely – or at least mainly) made up of the aforementioned math nerds’ parents. I mean, come on, who else would really be interested enough to spend a Saturday afternoon watching kids at a table take an examination? That said, I loved it, and as part of the NEST+M math team, it was pure enjoyment.

By this time, I had made several good friends. There was Griffin, a childhood friend from my first neighborhood where his family and mine were next door neighbors. I also met a few friends while hanging out at different playgrounds. Angelos and Andreas were brothers I got to know during Saturday mornings at a Chinese language school in Chinatown, where I spent years trying to learn the impossible Mandarin language. My math teammates and classmates from NEST+M also became close friends. It felt like I was collecting good friends, with weekly birthday parties and seasonal gatherings to attend.

NEST+M was very special to me. My mom raved about it for the esteem it had in the public school system. For me, however, NEST+M was a joy that I had as a familiar place to go to. My mom likes to remind me of the day I returned home from my second-grade graduation ceremony and was so distressed that I only had ten more years of NEST+M until I graduated. Where would I go afterward? You mean there will really be life without NEST+M? How could this be? The tears would not stop.

COVID put a stop to the routine I was happy with and would bring a new twist to my life. One that I never would have imagined, really. My mom recovered from being hit with this illness, but ultimately lost her Wall Street computer programming job from being away while recovering. The entire public school system, the neighborhood parks, and even the two local delis I came to call my after-school pantry (my mom had running tabs there for me), all closed for the unforeseeable future. To make matters worse, my mom was beside herself about what was going on in our city. She took so much pride in my education. Until COVID hit, she was thrilled that I was attending and succeeding at NEST+M. The teachers were profoundly great at keeping us kids in check and keeping our education at a top-notch level. There was no way she was letting the pandemic mess with my education—her master plan for my success was definitely not going to be derailed by a global crisis!

II. Goodbye Knicks. Go Wildcats!

So, with mom’s Wall Street career and my in-person classes slipping away, research was showing a strong STEM ranking in Arizona schools – and they had in-class teachers! I certainly was not convinced that this was the direction or solution, but mom was swooning. My math team, my Saturday math club, my friends - those were my priorities. Teachers in my classroom were mom’s priority. Off we go – yet another new move - this time to a new state, new landscape, new big sky. Hello Arizona!

Arizona’s K-12 BASIS school system is highly ranked in STEM. It is also a charter school system. Obviously, this all carries a ton of weight for my mom. My mind was still in NYC. My heart is still in NYC. It was not an easy life there, to be perfectly honest. Between the subway rides and me navigating to school solo, my mom was living life at warp speed! Of course, NYC was familiar to me, and it’s really the only place I felt at home. We moved to Tucson with the hopes of getting a seat at BASIS Tucson. We waited patiently. We waited patiently some more, and still – no seat available. But wait! Hold our hats, there’s a seat at BASIS Prescott. We move again, this time to Prescott. On our way there I heard mom promise me, “no more moves, Cyan. This is it.”

Prescott is lovely. It is a picture-perfect small town, pine trees galore, the cutest village square, and even has an Indian restaurant for special nights on the town. However, we have never lived in a small town. Mom moved from New Delhi to Wall Street, and I guess we both longed to have a little more commotion. There was very little to remind me of my earlier life. BASIS Prescott did have in-school classes, but otherwise my friends were still in New York, and I was becoming an online addict, racking up so many social hours, hanging out with New Yorkers online.

BASIS Prescott was going through changes of its own due to COVID. Our class shared another in a small building off from the main school. Finally, our classes completed the school year online, causing more anxiety at home as to how to keep my education on track. Mom and I were both growing weary. Persistence sometimes pays off, and we finally did get a seat at BASIS Tucson for the following year. I was convinced to try, yet again, in a new location. So, back to Tucson we move to begin my freshman year. A new move. A new home. A new location.

III. New Kid in Town.

The Eagle lyrics to ‘New Kid in Town’ may have been truer when they wrote them than they are now-a-days. The ‘great expectations’ and ‘everybody loves you’ part is particularly weird in today’s environment. ‘Everybody's watching you’, however, strikes me as more like the way it is today.

Now that I have spent my entire high school years – ninth grade to my senior year at BASIS Tucson, I can look back and see that BASIS has been a gem to me. After all the moves in New York and, as outlined above, moves made here, and then twice again in Arizona, I can say that wading through the many months of grief trying hard to maintain academic success has not been easy. I have had some ups and downs. I have questioned whether I can enjoy life outside of New York, without my old friendships, classmates and teachers. I have questioned whether this move to attend BASIS was worth it. Does moving make any sense? Does it make any difference? For months, I sat in the cafeteria eating lunch alone. I sat alone on the recess bench, watching other kids enjoy themselves. It’s kind of sad, but it’s true.

It’s taken me some time to learn how to get around here. From metropolitan lifestyle to suburbia. It’s quite dissimilar. How do I get around here? Hint: It’s not by subway! But I have learned to get around. To get by. And just as I thought I could suffer no longer and somehow would have to make my way back to New York, good fortune happened. I was asked to try out for the BASIS volleyball team. Between you and me, my confidence was suffering, and I thought I wouldn’t be good enough for a team. I am a skinny kid; I have never been athletic. But I showed up to try outs and surprised myself. I somehow managed to jump higher than expected. I learned volleyball basics in New York, but never took the game seriously. This team was out for more than recreation. Some of the upper classmen were very good and the rest of the team tried very hard to keep up. Team volleyball was a surprising relief to my isolation, and I’ve never looked back. I was only in 10th grade. I was scrawny, but by the end of the first season I was part of the starting team. More than that, I was regaining some familiarity and confidence with kids my age, making good friends along the way. Even better, I knew all the teammates by name, and got to know them better in the classrooms as well.

Coach Keicher helped strengthen my play. Before long I was learning to spike, spin and redirect my diagonal targets. Coach helped me to improve and reset from the challenging day of studies. It was sometimes difficult to turn my academic brain off and my volleyball brain on. Sometimes I find myself looking at the concept of volleyball play through the prism of mathematics and physics. Projectile motion. Dynamics of spin. Hmm. I also find the ritual of competitive team play to be part magic for me. I was reminded how I liked the ‘pre-game jitters’ feeling prior to math competitions. I got it before volleyball games too. It is an intense type of energy that often is shared by many of the team players. This energy has a bonding effect, helping me to overcome my social awkwardness. I would say the desire to succeed as a team helps melt away the awkwardness of being the new kid in town. This magic helps me join my high school mates in a way that I was hoping to find all along. The team is a stable environment where I know people and they know me. It happened more easily when I was in grade school in New York. I just knew people forever, it seemed. But moving to a new state, a new town, a new school, when you’re in high school, getting to know others is different. I have thanked Coach Keicher many times for asking me to play, and she deserves much praise for her solid talent for coaching the team. We all improved – both individually and collectively. Coach Keicher developed our abilities and strengths. We almost captured the championship in my first year on the team.

While team volleyball was kicking my life into gear, I was also feeling the effects more broadly in the classrooms. I placed very highly in math and physics placement exams. While in ninth grade, most of my classmates were seniors. Although we were all living out our high school years together, because of my age I did feel like it would be difficult to feel anything but awkward. My math teacher Mrs. Kolesikova, and my physics teacher, Mr. Lee were sympathetic, but neither of them would have me staying silent when they knew I knew answers and wasn’t sharing them. I was called to the board many times. They are both exceptional teachers. Mr. Lee is loved by many students and parents alike. Mrs. Kolesikova has a reputation for high standards and even teaches post-AP classes. BASIS is so fortunate to have them both. They have supplied so much interest in my growth. I recently made a 3-day class presentation on 4-vectors to the Capstone Quantum Mechanics class.

Also, Mrs. K even found statewide teams for me to participate in math competitions. And thankfully BASIS’ math club is now beginning to compete in national league competitions. I am excited to see math team play returning to my life. To be clear, the rankings of the teams, or my own wins do not really hold great importance to me. But I do get the bonus of my proud mom’s ‘happiness look’, so the efforts and time are all worthwhile.

Mr. Lee has also really changed my life. Math was my thing – always. I never gave much thought about other subject areas for me. But Mr. Lee enlightened me on some of the perplexing mysteries of physics. We began a physics club in 11th grade, and Makeen and I led the club through a variety of topics. At Mr. Lee’s suggestion, I applied to assist Professor Schaibley at the University of Arizona, conducting research to create a superconductor by simulating the Hall Effect using graphene & chiral molecules. I was in the right place at the right time and am now in my second semester at the University, assisting the great Professor Schaibley. I am so encouraged by all my opportunities here. I know not everyone’s been as lucky to have the awesome teachers and opportunities I’ve stumbled into—sometimes it feels like I hit the jackpot! I am thankful to these teachers that have helped me throughout these years. Particularly since I was feeling so far from home a few short years ago. Thanks to Professor Schaibley, I will major in physics in college because who doesn’t love a good equation to spice up their day?

IV. Money – it’s a crime.

Thank you for reading this biographical essay. I cannot say I have overcome all the moves my mom and I have made, but being in one place for the past 4 years has had a stabilizing effect on my life. As I stated before, my journey has not been earth shattering or record breaking. But for a boy who just wanted to stay settled in the K-12 where he began, I sure had a lot to adjust to. We moved almost as often as I changed grades. Maybe learning how to adapt to these new environments will pay off in future. My apologies to my mom who is ‘uncomfortable’ with my chosen essay topic about our moves. It really wasn’t how she had planned it out in her mind, either. She made these moves to benefit me. I guess the pressure is on.

I have become a leader in the BASIS math club and have helped start and lead the new BASIS guitar club, albeit at home to make it free for members. I have joined the student council and have been a member of the National Honor Society for the past two years. I participated in Pima County Teen Court as Teen Juror, an alternative resolutions program for teenagers having legal troubles. I also assist students at BASIS in math and physics at school. I performed in two concerts at the Arizona Regionals Music Festival and several concerts with BASIS Tucson’s orchestra, playing classical flute.

In the past few years, all this movement has turned out to be okay. I sweated it out, for sure. I was filled with self-doubt. But with time, my self-confidence returned. There is a lesson there for me, for sure. I do see color again! From the browns and beiges of Arizona deserts, I can also see some of the desert floral colors around us. Pink, red, blue… oranges, even. Leaving aside the city grit, in the time it takes to get from point A to point B in New York City, I exchanged that burdensome travel time into learning to play guitar and piano better. The sound waves have been affected by me in this big sky country, even if I am the only one to hear it.

What I’ve come to learn, is that time is precious, and change is constant. I really value having friends. I am happy that Angelos, Andreas, and Griffin have remained my friends in New York, even if those friendships are only continued online. I am also happy that Zach, Arjun, Johnny, TJ, Tesla, and Jimmy are my new friends here in Tucson. We share more than just being classmates and teammates—we also have a lot of the same aspirations and accomplishments. We are all marching toward our graduation date. It’s been a whirlwind.

I hope one day I can use these impressions of life and of overcoming obstacles. My teachers, coaches and friends have helped me see clearly by sharing their stories with me. I know I’m not the only one who has been challenged by sudden change or new beginnings. In the future, I hope to help communities find mutual meaning and understanding together. Maybe I will teach math or physics to groups or in a school. Or maybe I will help communities participate in activities, to share recreation with one another. Even math nerds like me benefit from community activities – even if moving around a lot makes it seem impossible. For me, it is math. For me, it is physics. But also, for me, it is music. It is team sports. It is listening to and reflecting on the words of others. I can find that in New York City. But I really found that here in Tucson, Arizona.

I hope you value my story and value some of the pains of my travels so far. I hope you will consider sponsoring my future academics. I love to learn and am really looking forward to finding the best place for me to continue my journey. I would like to add that I am also open to any kind of ‘work-study’ programs you may have available. Did I tell you yet that I am a Python programmer? Website administrator? Are you in need of an assistant project manager? Have you seen my video on solving the Rubik’s cube puzzle yet? I really would love to chat about this if you have some time.

Cyan (the color)